What ever happened to Rick Trimble?

Former IOWFA and Manchester United legend, Rick Trimble will not be participating in this year's competition, prompting the organisers to draft in Brian with Barcelona at the last minute. After intensive training from last years champion Benedict Cameron, Brian has just reached a level which the organisers deemed worthy of a place in the tournament.

The question still remains: Where is Rick Trimble and what is he doing now? Here are the IOWFA's top 7 theories...

 

7. Disappeared in a protest to sack David Moyes last April
Rumour has it that Rick Trimble was seen carrying a large "MOYES OUT" banner in the crowd at Old Trafford , but reports suggest he never came out...

6. Suffered from Food Poisoning, caused by jarred Frankfurters
There was a large amount of evidence suggesting that after missing out on the title at last year's tournament, Rick decided to drown his sorrows in the jar of frankfurters as his second place prize earlier that evening.

5. Disappeared in the Peruvian Jungle whilst training for the Manchester Liberation Army 
It has long been known that Rick is a passionate believer in the Rights of Mancunians and has recently been recruited by the paramilitary force. Reports from local fishermen indicate that he was in the jungle training in the art of guerrilla warfare with his comrades. Rick never returned...

4. Got lost in the Park
...

3. Kidnapped by Somalian pirates and started his own African tribe
After coming second last year, Rick supposedly went on a worldwide cruise to re-evaluate his life. However, when sailing along the east-African coast, a band of Somalian pirates attempted to hijack the vessel and kidnapped Rick and brought him back to Somalia. Rick apparently liked rural Somalia so much he decided to stay and start his own tribe of which he is chief.

2. After a wavey night at a Pyong Yang nightclub, Rick befriended Kim Jong Un and is now his right hand man
Rumours in Manchester suggest he was exiled from his home city after failing to bring home an IOWFA title two years on the trot. A long time friend of Rick, Kim Jong Dave heard about Rick's predicament and invited him to live with him in North Korea. Pyong Yang officials claim that at a party one night Rick met the supreme dictator, Kim Jong Un and after a few beers the two of them became great friends. They are said to have many shared interests such as nuclear warfare, Gavin And Stacey, dictatorship and the life of Alan Titchmarsh.

1. Found refuge in a convent after missing his Wightlink ferry home
The day after the IOWFA competition of April 2013, Rick was set to sail home on the St Clare but due to complications at Priory Bay he was late and the ferry set sail without him. Locals testify to having seen him sleeping rough in the IOW wilderness. But some claim that he soon found refuge under roof of the local convent. Reports from inside St Ceclia's itself indicate that in his post-IOWFA desperation he found God and will soon take his vows as a nun.

 

REPORTED SIGHTINGS OF RICK